Saturday, July 11, 2015

Promises Made, Promises Broken...

Life hasn't changed much, words have been exchanged, promises made and yet again broken... but I have learned to react differently when faced with situations I couldn't handle before.

I long for change in the pattern of our lives, the monotony of it, the constant need that doesn't seem to get filled...and I would resort to crying, to drama, to everything else because I wanted to get a point across, and clinch that promise of change but now I've learned that it doesn't work that way, that people regardless of how I would act, would still act according  to what they think is right for them, even it means doing what is not totally right for the situation but I have learned that in order for me to take control of my feelings and not be overwhelmed with emotions. I just need to pray and leave everything up to God and I know He will take control.

God has been so generous to me, I have often failed to acknowledge how good He is to me and how blessed I am to have the life I am now living. I may not have everything I want at this moment, but I know in time I will find my niche.. my world will be complete and it will be the perfect world for me because it is God's plan for me. He is perfecting me to become the person He knows me to be.

Melodramatic? Perhaps. I remember a friend told me that I am and he made me realize I am, but I can't help it, sometimes, I feel my life is one big soap opera! Well, that's another story...  LOL but yea, I'm trying to curve that and I hope in time I can and I will!

I have begun writing poetry again, I let pen and paper do the talking for me. (LOL) yes, I'm writing again, literally and perhaps I'll share those thoughts here one of these days, perhaps, but for now, I'll leave it here like this, a story told and shared through my own words, written in long paragraphs and hopefully explained and understood as in reading someone's diary.

There is still a jumble of thoughts in my mind
trying to organize it's way into this page but
it remains to be that.. a chaotic jumble (redundant? perhaps - just proof of how really jumbled those thoughts are) that longs to find it perfect niche in the little place called my mind...

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