Friday, November 16, 2007

Love Your Body...

I've always been on the 'chubby' side, I never really thought about it. I've been comfortable with how I looked for the longest time and I never thought that I was 'that ugly', though I wanted to loose weight for some time now for health reasons. Till one time when my daughter asked me, "mommy ba't mataba ka?" (mommy, why are you fat?) I found I couldn't answer her honestly, so I just told her there's nothing I can do, I'm just fat. I took a note on that and I realized that until now I am bothered by that one thought my daughter had of me, although she told me that even if I was fat that I was still pretty. Hah.... I know she was just being nice.. hehehehe.. But still, it bore on me that at her age, my daughter will turn six on saturday, she already has this sense of vanity, if I'll be allowed to use that word, that she found me fat, in my mind, when I was her age, my mom was bigger than I am now, and that I didn't really think about it, that all in my mind during that time was play, play, play and I didn't think about being fat or being thin, or being pretty or ugly. But nowadays children at a very young age become conscious of their bodies, of their looks, often times she will ask me if I think she is pretty. And of course, modesty aside, I have a very beautiful daughter but it frightens me that at her age, she already thinks about that, and I'm thinking if I'm also guilty of letting her feel that physical beauty is so important in life that she has to assure herself that she is indeed beautiful.
Sometimes I guess that we as people tend to look at the outer beauty of someone instead of looking for the goodness and purity of their hearts. It saddens me that my daughter might become a victim and in my desire to give her confidence and a healthy self image I might have dug a pit for her to fall into. I hope not .


Carol Larson said...

Hi, Candi. I can totally sympathize with you. I always used to tell my husband that if I ever got as big as my mom, to shoot me. I thank God he didn't take me up on that. lol. I always thought my mom was fat when I was growing up, and now I'm quite a bit bigger than she was then. I used to worry about my kids being embarrased by my weight, but my daughter (she's 18) has always told me she wouldn't want me to be skinny, because then I wouldn't be me, and she likes my 'fluffiness' because it makes her feel comforted when she cuddles with me. My son, on the other hand, (he's 14) has, since he was a little boy, always made comments about "Mom, I think your butt's too big for that chair". Stuff like that is very hurtful, whether it was meant to hurt or not. I would like to lose weight, but I am to the point in my life, that I think life is too short, and if God didn't want me to eat yummy stuff, he wouldn't have put it here! lol. I LOVE ice cream, and I'm not about to give it up!

Check out my related blog (it's brand new) at

-Carol (from MyLot)

By the way, you ARE a very beautiful girl :)

CaNdi said...

Thank you carol. I checked out your blog and left some comments too. Let's keep in touch ok =)

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