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Monday, January 12, 2015

Lost...

My mind drifts and wanders... going nowhere... pointing at no particular path.
My mind full of thoughts.... full of ideas... but nowhere to put them
I feel so lost, wanting deeply to find my way but alas, it seems the light towards the right path seems nowhere to be found.

Indeed, with so many things I want to accomplish, with so many things I wish to do, my mind refuses to function to fulfill all those longings.

I ask myself, is this how my life is supposed to go? Is this all of it?

I want to jump out and shout, expel all this frustration but the rational part of me says, then what? I'm still stuck here, where I am now... nowhere to go... nowhere to flee.

I can try to escape the physical place I'm now at, get a breather from everything but can I escape the prison that is my mind? can I open the locked gates in my mind, can I finally find my peace amidst all the chaos that is my mind?

Sometimes I fear I'm losing my mind... that one of these days I'm just gonna freak out and lose it, sometimes I even wish for it, for the freedom it will give me... freedom from all the responsibilities, freedom from all the oppression I feel, freedom to say everything that's on my mind without fear of repercussion... but alas, I know that this is not possible. If I want to retain peace within my residence, I need to make sure silence is my friend, ensure that all the thoughts that are bottled inside me remains within, deep within,.. and realize that I am just me, a nobody, an insignificant speck of dust in this earth until I find my own niche in the sun, I will always be just that.

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