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Wednesday, September 24, 2008

WorryWort

I know it's wrong... And I know que-sera-sera.. whatever will be will be...

but I can't help it...



I've been loosing a lot of sleep and more of my temperament because of it

but I can't help it...



I try not to cause it's not really healthy for me

but I can't help it...



I worry... a lot.. always... about my kids, my finances, my future, our future, even as I type this my mind strays back to everything that is worrying me.. Again I try not to...

but I can't help it...



Specially now... I feel so lost, alone and without any hope of help anytime soon. I feel like I'm being torn apart. My head hurts, might even be the start of a migraine but my mind, no matter how hard I try seems to stray to all my problems and how hard it is to solve...



I used to be a happy go lucky gal, never worrying, never thinking of the future, but when I got married, had kids, a responsible or trying to be responsible head replaced that of the single me who's problems revolved around where to go to next week or what color nail polish I'm gonna put on my long fingernails next.



But now... cropped fingernails uneven and unmanicured I think about my children, how they are doing in school, if they get sick I am not able to sleep, and now when they are getting better, my son was sick with fever a week ago, I still wake up in the middle of the night to make sure he's not running a fever. My daughter complained of chest pains which turned out to be costochondritis according to the doctor, she is taking pain reliever but she still complains of pain sometimes, we go back to the doctor at the end of the week. Although I was reassured by the doctor that she is gonna be ok, I still worry. gosh I feel like my life is one whole mess of worries.



And it's really not helping me.

I'm irritable and I always seem to be fatigued and tired.

I know I gotta do something but I don't really know what to do... I'm hacking my brain to come up with a solution but I can't seem to find any....



AAARRRRGGGHHHHH.... will this ever end???

2 comments:

anna said...

hello mylotter... just visiting...nice blog

CaNdi said...

thanks... :)

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