Monday, January 21, 2008

Learning to accept: I'm not perfect

Sometimes, a guilty conscience is all I need to feel stressed out.
I'm a work at home mom, my husband and I run a computer rentals shop at our house. Sometimes I'd surf and do my blogs, and surveys and my research/typing jobs. Sometimes, I's just play casual games like diner dash, sally's salon or those seek and find puzzle games like dream day wedding/honeymoon/first home and sometimes time gets away and I realize that I've played for hours and hours already. And sometimes I'd realize my children are already asleep. And I spent only about 1 hour with them. I feel guilty during this times. There was a time when I was so engrossed with the computer, I forgot to check my daughters school work and later on realized she has an assignment, she wasn't able to do, coz I wasn't there to guide her and help with her homework. Again, I'd feel guilty and think, am I being selfish?
But now I realize I cannot be everywhere at the same time, no matter how much I want to be, I'm not superwoman, I'm not perfect. I get tired. I get hooked. Yes, I also need to be a responsible parent, I need to be with my kids. But I don't need to be with them all the time. I need time for myself, time for my husband, time to work, time to play and time to be just me. Accepting my responsibility as a mom to my children doesn't mean I cannot spend time for myself. And I'm entitled to some mistake or a little selfishness from time to time. I'm realizing that now and it's helping me, helping me cope a little with my stress. Learn to love myself a little and not beat myself over not always being there for my kids.

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