Friday, January 25, 2008

Could I have done more?

Sometimes you just feel so inadequate. Like there is nothing you have done right. My daughter's 3rd quarterly examination results came in yesterday. Honestly her grades were alright, not much lower or higher than her 2nd quarter, although I am disappointed somewhat coz I actually expected better from her. When we were reviewing, she kept saying she already knew all those stuff and after her exams she even told me that she got it perfect and to see many x's in her paper told me, I should have pushed more, urged her to study more, specially in her Filipino subject, where she got the lowest grade, I was so disappointed, actually not with her, but with myself, I felt like I could have done more for her, more to make her study harder, more to make her grades go up. Sometimes, I just have to berate myself for not being a better mom to her, specially when it comes to her study habits, it is so frustrating for me, coz I don't want to get angry or mad, so when she starts acting up during study time, I just let her be, something like if she wants to just play and not study or watch TV and not study, I just let her, my thought was I'd rather not get mad, but I'm seeing poor results in her examinations and I fear that I am too lenient on her now because I don't want to get mad. I don't know if what I'm doing is right or if I have to do something more. I cannot think of anymore things to say to her to motivate her to study. I try to cultivate in her good study habits and stuff, like a definite time to do everyday stuff, but when she gets cranky or stubborn, I just give up. AAARRRRGGGHHHH.... I don't like it that she's not doing so well in her class, but I don't want to get mad at her again and again for the same reasons, but I'm seeing there's just no way out of it. Sometimes I think I'm being too hard on her, expecting more than what she's giving, but I see in her so much potential and I don't want her to waste it just because she wasn't able to fully enhance her abilities.

No comments:

Related Posts with Thumbnails